A Stone For All Seasons

Coming home from Scotland in June, the Irises were in bloom and just beautiful this year.  Need to contact the fellow to come add Charlie's name.....I don't want to yet, seems like that is too final.  I can pretend he's still across the street as long as his name is not sandblasted into Strawberry.  That's ridiculous but sometimes that's how I feel.  So, Charles Luke will be added possibly below his sister's name.  I am not sure what to add with his name, perhaps another butterfly

.The blues of spring are gone and now the oranges, yellows and a few pink/purples are showing.

Picking Up The Pieces

Thirteen months without Miss Amber Pie, 2-and-a-half months without sweet Charlie,........feels like we've been slogging through a bog with boots heavy with mud, every day a chore, every morning agony to wake up and just breathe,......Hubby has decided enough is enough and we need to DO something....a 30th anniversary/bereavement trip to Scotland

 helped begin to put our feet on drier ground.  It was amazing what 9 days away did to lift a bit of fog.  While there, we received news that the babyMomma is expecting a baby girl who has been tested NEGATIVE for I-Cell and should be arriving near Thanksgiving.  Is it sacrilegious to picture God winking at her possible birth date?  Thanksgiving!  A precious gift and although my breath caught in my throat at first (I felt like this grammy's heart needed a few more years to heal), I am so very thankful at the prospect of seeing the babyMomma and her hubby with their arms full yet again....and ours as well.

  I have begun to pick up some pieces.....someone has come forward to take medical supplies that have filled so much physical space.

 While bagging them up, I almost WENT to pieces as each category brought memories of the pain and fear when we first had to learn how to use something, memories of the victory and confidence we felt when we mastered it,  and the inevitable crushing sorrow as we no longer need any of it.

I've also picked up the pieces of what was to be Charlie and Amber's floor quilt.  Fabric was chosen for both children......I didn't begin to cut it out until it was too late for Amber Pie.  Last summer in an attempt to move forward, babyMomma and Charlie helped with layout.

 I made great progress during my get-away in October and had begun to bind it late winter.  (I just spotted adorable Charlie toes at the edge of the picture just below)

 The back of the quilt is a spotty blue, with a large rectangle of one of the dog prints.  This was my first machine quilted, far from perfect but a lot of fun to try.

 It is finished now and will await new grandbabygirl to lay and play on it next year.  She will hear lots of stories of her sister and brother....(so disappointed I didn't finish this for Charlie to enjoy).....

and I am looking forward with joy to adding her picture to this category of "Quilting with Grammy."

Labor Day for Lack of a More Creative Title

I don't know exactly how it happened, but I pulled out a quilt project that has been sitting for months and did more than just look at it.

 This was purchased last fall, I think.  The babyMomma chose it to be a large floor quilt for the two grandbabies, combining girl and boy prints and to cover the floor mats we put down on the rug to give them extra cushioning.  Being the Goddess of Procrastination, the project was never begun while Amber could benefit.  These past few months have been and continue to be so hard.  I'm reading through a few books that deal with grief and something struck me early last week.  Struck me?  It hit me HARD.  I need to go back through my reading to write down the source, but the GIST that smacked me out of the paralysis of grief was something about CHOOSING MISERY.   Who in their right mind chooses to be miserable?  Yes, I am still grieving and yes, there are almost constant moments that I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me, or I am suffocating.   I just want to yell as loud as I possibly can while at the same time just curling up and calling for a complete retreat from everything.  BUT....that is a choice I have, to give in to the paralysis or not.  Feeling terribly convicted, I pulled out the stack of fabrics and consulted with the babyMomma.  Yes, she wanted to keep both fabric themes, the purple and teal and owls that were for Amber, and the puppies for Charlie.

Charlie and his mom helped with the layout.  They had fun playing around with many possibilities, 

Grammy discovered just how fast and clever Charlie is in his sister's gait trainer.  I chose this corner of the living room because it was the furthest away from Charlie who was in the kitchen.  Well, I just began to lay the fabric on the mat for cutting, and he was right there, maneuvered through the kitchen and dining room, around corners and furniture  and right onto my cutting mat.  

This is the basic quilt top and borders are being worked on.  I was grateful for a rainy Labor Day weekend and a weekend of labor.

 The babyMomma went to work with her hubby for a few hours on Sunday and Monday.  Instead of going to a parade, the new home owners and my hubby did two projects on the new house (across the street!) so Charlie and I were left to work on the quilt.

Clinging to Psalm 30:5b   Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Spring

  Spring arrived over the weekend, with some little touches around the house thanks to my daughter.  I traded out the black tablecloth that is so perfect for fall and winter with its clusters of apples and vibrant splashes of red, orange and green for a blue damask with dragonflies and flower clusters.  My daughter took it from there.

My granddaughter and the babyMomma planted a bulb of 4 leafed clover a few weeks ago, and it opened just in time for St. Patrick's Day!

I walked by this grouping for an entire day before I realized it was there!  While I don't believe I have a drop of Irish, the babyMomma does, thanks to great grandparents on her dad's side.  My favorite picture of the grandbabies....we were supposed to repeat this picture in the matching outfits this February when the light was just right.  We'll get to it.  Grandbaby girl still fits her outfit!!  We have a new one for her "little" brother that hopefully still fits him.  He's amazed us this year and is now bigger than his "big" sister!

A bird's eye view of the cake dome.....a white bird (ceramic? resin?), a nest with blue eggs, and vintage field glasses that were a mother's day gift last year from the babyMomma.

Green

I found this poem in a collection of poetry for children.....thought it was quite appropriate as we're waking up to white this morning!!

Wearing of the Green

It ought to come in April,
or, better yet, in May
when everything is green as green--
I mean St. Patrick's Day.

With still a week of winter
this wearing of the green
seems rather out of season--
it's rushing things, I mean.

But maybe March is better
when all is done and said:
St. Patrick brings a promise, 
a four-leaf-clover promise,
a green-all-over promise
of springtime just ahead!

-Aileen Fisher

A Bright and Giddy Star

Whew!  Only four months to work up the courage to cut into this intense stack of fabric....

or maybe to just carve out a few hours of quiet to focus.  I think I spent an hour rearranging to get a good mix of the colors in each ray of the star.

  How long now before I find the time and quiet to begin to sew?....and rip out and sew again??

Things That Make Me Smile

Since the bear in my yard, I have not put the bird feeders back out.  I've missed the activity of busy parents and fledglings.  Since the boy and the dead frog, I haven't been down to the swamp with the motion-sensor camera or even just with my binoculars.  (I'm just chicken)  Between my parents and my grand-babies, I'm often tied up in emotional knots but I've been desperately wanting to focus on the positive.  So, we close out June with a few things that have brought me a smile this week.

Shopping Therapy ~ It's not terribly easy to get out with the babies, or to leave one behind when we have a nurse.  After a barrage of doctor appointments and evaluations and meetings, we have found ourselves with a couple of quiet weeks.  Getting my daughter out of the house for a couple of short jaunts is definitely something to smile about.  I picked up these for some color and finally found a replacement for a tea kettle my daughter gave me when she was in the 5th grade.  I love a side-handled tea kettle!

An Outing for the Babies!!  ~ One of our quick shopping jaunts to Walmart ended with a visit to Great Grandma and Great Grandpa's.  Walmart should hire Amber as a greeter!  She couldn't stop smiling or saying hi.  I still can't believe my mom, at 86, got down on the floor with the babies.

The Two Warriors Finally Connect ~ Giant smile producer here and a flood of joy.  After two deployments each, these two finally find themselves in the same war torn country in a civilian capacity.  Hubby had a business trip in May but couldn't make it work to get to  the boy.  This trip, they've already had lunch together and bumped into each other for dinner.  

Trip to the Airport~ Middle of the day, driving out of Boston alone, the city is just so pretty with its blend of history and new, trees green, glimpses of rooftop gardens, all the water around, a hint of mountain in the west, and a beautiful cloudy sky.  That experience Monday kicked me into this week of stopping and being thankful for the moments that make me smile. 

Colossians 2:6 and 7

 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

Trying to memorize the book of Colossians with my sister this year.  I am far behind her but finding such joy in verses that I've probably read hundreds of times but now seem to jump off the page.  "Overflowing with thankfulness" really hollered at me.  I'm much more whiny than thankful.  I am memorizing these in the NIV 1984 version, because that's the bible I had with me when we embarked on this challenge.  The bible I use most often is one my parents gave me for my high school graduation (a very long time ago).  These verses are highlighted in yellow and in the margin "CILT Graduation."  What a smile this brings and a flood of memories.  An intensive two year, Camper-in-Leadership-Training course taught by an incredible woman who was serious and demanded thoroughness and excellence.  You had two weeks at camp for two summers but two years to be working on things and then wrapping it all up at camp.  This was before the days of passing everybody and sheltering young people from disappointment and failure.  She was tough and those of us who passed grew and stretched in ways we didn't think possible and learned lessons and skills for a lifetime beyond the realm of summer camp.  Thank you, Joy!

An Almost Wordless Wednesday...on Thursday

  
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening  Beautiful illustrations!  Not on my bookshelf yet, but I think it will be soon.

Some glimpses of our home.  

My elf made snowflakes and hung them from the doorways.  She also made gingerbread people with our names and hung them.  This is something she remembers from Christmas parties that my sister's mother-in-law always had.  We did not go every year, but apparently my daughter had very fond memories of getting a gingerbread person with her name on it.  It is so very neat sharing my home with my adult daughter and her young family, to see traditions passed along as well as combined and created.

Tonight Grampa and Grammy did the bedtime routine while babyMomma is in Boston awaiting the arrival of her baby boy.  It is hard to fathom that he will be here before Christmas.  It is strange to know his diagnosis ahead of time.  I can't wait to meet him face to face.  

December Already??

I'm not exactly sure what happened to November.  My young warrior came home after 3 months overseas, so I was bustling around trying to set up a cozier guest bedroom than he had here a year ago.  He ends up in the "Music Room."  Sounds great, but after merging two households and then acquiring more and more medical supplies for the grandbaby, the room has become a very large storage closet!  It now has full length curtains that are actually hanging from decorative curtain rods!  Unfortunately, he still has to sleep on an air mattress on the floor....I'll have three months till he gets to come home again so I'll have to hunt down some sort of bed.  A murphy bed would be awesome except the best wall would be the wall the piano occupies, so we'll have to rethink that.  With another grandbaby on the way, I need a decent guest bedroom so the babies' other grammy can come visit!

My granddaughter had been enjoying a long stretch of good health.  With two adults in the kitchen (one for her, one to cook), she would sometimes even help with the baking. She had begun really moving around on the floor and had started going forward a little bit in her fancy walker!  We were enjoying "dancing" to Christmas music while making supper in the late afternoons.  Thanksgiving morning she began to be sick and by Sunday calls were made to her Palliative Care Team and Hospice.  A lot of tears these last few days and just inability to do much of anything other than pray and try to support the babyMomma!  A very tough week for young warrior to be home as we can't really do a whole lot.  He's been amazing, though, and has hired a friend of his to finish and do several home improvement projects that have been sadly neglected.

God's timing is amazing as a new day nurse began Monday and walked into the front lines of a battle for Amber.  She has been amazing and has advocated for new equipment, made calls to doctors and pharmacies and suppliers, and does everything with such confidence but with a great deal of respect for the babyMomma.  We are so glad she came when she did and that she had been out once before on a different visit to see Amber healthy so she could really understand just how sick Pale Peanut has been this week.  We would still covet prayers for a full recovery and safe arrival of her baby brother.....due mid-January but probably/possibly earlier than that. 

In the midst of all this, we are trying to lift spirits and each day add a little more Christmas.  Lights went up last night, just a few white twinklies outside on two bushes and a blanket of lights on a big rock; and candles in the windows.  Christmas dishes came out the day after Thanksgiving.  These were a gift to the babyMomma last year.  They just make us smile.

Taking Advantage of Some Peace and Pieces

Spent a few hours in August with a woman who knows her stuff at an amazing quilt shop in Lyndeborough, NH.  I had one bolt I loved, the red with vines, but didn't know quite where to go from there.  She went here and there all over her shop, pulling this and that, studying my pattern.  We finally had a group we were happy with, my pattern now scribbled with notes so I wouldn't forget when I started cutting, and she folded them together so beautifully it was a while before I could take them apart and get to cutting.

Pieces were cut back in August and put in baggies all labeled.  I'm not sure what's been going on, but I haven't seem to have had any peace to get piecing!!  Late yesterday I had the house to myself and no outside distractions as it was pouring.  With NPR on the radio and cats sleeping away the afternoon, I got down to business.

 I'm doing another table runner like this one.  It's amazing how different the design will look with a better contrast in materials.  And I am amazed at how peaceful this process is.

Bear Claws

How disappointing, not the furry kind nor the kind you can eat!!!  I took my hubby to a quilt shop, hoping to find a summer wool felt pin-cushion project like this but she did not have one available.  Not wanting to leave empty handed, he found a pattern for a table runner using two blocks of bear claws and two smaller star blocks.  

The dark blue patterned strip on the bottom will be the binding.

He and my sister had fun choosing a Moda charm pack, Summer Breeze, since I'm a fan of blue and yellow.  I think it took a week of evenings to cut and piece it.  Now, it is pinned into a sandwich, waiting for the quilting part.  That's where I fall apart - do an overall pattern? stitch in the ditch?  colored thread or just a white quilting cotton thread??  Hopefully I'll decide soon so I can use it on the table while it is still seasonally appropriate!!

  I did manage to finish a spring themed wool felt pin-cushion.  This was one of two my sister, Goddess of Hand Sewing, gave me as a Christmas present quite a long time ago.

Progress Report II: Embracing Imperfections

First Quilt is still underway!  After hand quilting 66 blocks, I laid it out to see what it still needed and discovered I had an entire row sewn incorrectly!!  (marked by stars) The perfectionist in me goes crazy every time I see it, but it would be more work than it's worth to try to fix it so onward I go.  Corners don't meet, my stitching is inconsistent, I've introduced puckers.....but it is relaxing and I'm learning all the things to do differently next time.
     66 patterned blocks and 28 triangles have been quilted, just a basic stitch in the ditch.  For the 17 squares, I am quilting a pattern that I've stenciled on with chalk first in order to follow it.  No picture of that yet.

Snippets of the Season

What happened to November??

Well, I realized I can't knit very well on circular needles.  No tension and the stocking ended up ridiculously large and baggy!!!  The foot is great - that's on double pointed needles and nice and snug....although I goofed and didn't start the red for the heel till it was almost too late!  I have been pulling out the quilt some evenings to hand quilt a block or two.  I'm in no rush to finish it at this point.  Other than that, I've been trying to fill in for the baby momma who injured her shoulder and so I'm exhausted....